An Attorney's "Twas the Night Before
Christmas"
Whereas, on an occasion immediately preceding the Nativity
festival, throughout a certain dwelling unit, quiet descended, in which could be heard no
disturbance, not even the sound emitted by a diminutive rodent related to, and in form
resembling, a rat; and
Whereas, the offspring of the occupants had affixed their
tubular, closely knit coverings for the nether limbs to the flue of the fireplace in
expectation that a personage known as St. Nicholas would arrive; and
Whereas, said offspring had become somnolent, and were
entertaining re: saccharine-flavored fruit; and
Whereas, the adult male of the family, et ux, attired in
proper headgear, had also become quiescent in anticipation of nocturnal inertia; and
Whereas, a distraction on the snowy acreage outside aroused
the owner to investigate; and
Whereas, he perceived in a most unbelieving manner a vehicle
propelled by eight domesticated quadrupeds of a species found in arctic regions; and
Whereas, a most odd rotund gentleman was entreating the
aforesaid animals by their appellations, as follows:
"Your immediate co-operation is requested. Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, and Vixen; and
collective action by you will be much appreciated, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and
Blitzen"; and
Whereas, subsequent to the above, there occurred a swift
descent to the hearth by the aforementioned gentleman, where he proceeded to deposit
gratuities in the aforementioned tubular coverings.
Now, therefore, be ye advised:
that upon completion of these acts, and upon his return to his original point of
departure, he proclaimed a felicitation of the type prevalent and suitable to these
occasions, i.e.:
"Happy Christmas to All and to All a Good Night!"
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